What you say to yourself and others (the quality of your internal and external communication) has a lot to do with your representation of any given event. We have seen athletes lose, fail a shot, make an error or perform poorly, and talk about the event or beat themselves up for days. We’ve also had the experience of listening to someone lament over what they should have said or done in a critical situation that didn’t turn out well for them. Sometimes these individuals may even believe their life would have been different “IF” they reacted differently. While this maybe true, it is history, time that cannot be reversed. In most cases the best course of action is simply taking responsibility for our actions at that moment in time, learn from it and move on. Taking responsibility is one of the things we can do to empower ourselves. If we believe we have NO control over the situation or experience, we feel disempowered due to our use of an External Locus of Control. We see what has happened as a fault, one that is out of our hands. In contrast, when we perceive an experience from an Internal Locus of Control, we feel empowerment, because we are in control of our perception of the outcome. We can take responsibility without shifting judgement, creating a blame that it is not our fault or “What If” scenarios. We take responsibility and move on. I had my car broken into recently. I left it unlocked in my driveway and a thief ransacked it in the middle of the night. I took responsibility for it. Why? Because I know that thieves exist. I let my guard down. I know my possessions are not secure if I leave my car unlocked and although I did that unknowingly, because of that I was ultimately responsible for the outcome. I took responsibility, made some changes to correct my future actions and moved on.
Now, think about it, if something bad happens to you, do you review it your mind over and over, talking to other people, and telling them how awful it was? If so, I have a question for you: Did you experience this event once, or over and over? Wasn’t once enough? Now remember, your subconscious thought process does not actually distinguish between thinking about something and the actual event. It is in fact considered real either way. This is one of the qualities of visualization, so utilize it in a positive way. Focusing on your problems creates a ripple effect, magnifying the experience in your mind. Focus on your solutions, not your problems. Solution oriented individuals learn from these experiences, rather than focus on them. To evolve as a person, we must learn to become less Problem Focused and more Solution Oriented. It is the Solution not the problem, which we have control over!
The things you can do something about, put your heart into solving or resolving. The things you can’t do anything about, let go of. Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. Be solution oriented and succeed more and more at everything you do.
“Ultimately, success is not measured by first place prizes.It’s measured by the road we have traveled,
how you dealt with the challenges
and stumbling blocks you encountered along the way.”
Three time Olympic Gold Medalist in swimming