Although we have little control over the stress we face in our lives, what we can control is how well we respond to these problems. We realize we can limit our risk factors, but we cannot control how or when we may be challenged. We can, however, control how we respond. People who are highly skilled at problem solving possess the ability to respond quickly and effectively when faced with a challenge or problem. They demonstrate high levels of “response-ability” on a daily basis. Contrast this with most people’s inability to control their emotional responses. Many people start with the belief that they are victims – that things happen to them and that things are beyond their control. People who feel this way operate from an external locus of control. They feel that when things happen, it’s because of their environment, their bosses, the government and other controlling forces outside of themselves. It’s NOT their fault, it’s because of _________.
They want others to change, they want the world to change, but they themselves don’t want to change. People with this outlook tend to be average to below average achievers. Do not fall into this cycle! Take and keep control of your outcome. How?
On the other hand, people who feel that they are in control of their lives, take control. They believe that if they are to succeed, it is up to them to make it happen. These individuals possess an internal locus of control. They take action and they take full responsibility for their actions or inactions. People with an internal locus of control tend to be low stress, high performance personalities. They are empowered, because they know THEY and only they, are responsible for their outcome.
How Can I Use This?
The bottom line is you feel good about yourself to the degree that you feel that you are in control of your own life, and research has shown that a “sense of control” is absolutely essential in order for you to perform at your best. This is what I refer to as a core belief of my Winning Mind Set Program.
So, regardless what happens to you in life, take responsibility for your actions (responses) and learn from the outcome. If you do not like what has happened, take control toward changing the outcome. You will have bad days; times when you start to lose it. When you do, don’t worry. Just try to be more conscious and view it as a learning opportunity. Remember, life is a process. My grandson said something to me that struck me. It was raining and we were trying to do something outside. He turned to me and said, “Well, Papa, the earth needs the rain to help everything grow, so we’ll just have to work around it.” Eight years old and working on his Winning Mindset!
“I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.”
Kevin Seaman is available for private training, consultation, coaching and speaking engagements. To inquire or if you would like to book Kevin for an event, team training or individual training contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org